How to Conduct an Effective Couples Event

Screen Shot 2015-12-04 at 12.24.18 PM“T for Two” is a couples event designed to help marriages be strong.

One of the best things that help kids succeed spiritually is to have a solid family life. At our church we care deeply about the spiritual success of children to the point that nearly every program has a “parental involvement” element. In addition to constantly asking ourselves how we can help parents raise their kids, we created this couples event.

Here are the basics.

  • “T for Two” is conducted on a Sunday evening in place of a regular service.
  • It is designed to enhance marriages and not as an evangelistic event.
  • We rent a place off site from the church and decorate it.
  • It is teaching/discussion based.
  • It is designed to be fun and light hearted. I show some funny videos and we joke a lot.
  • There is no special music, singing, or invitation. Table seating is assigned.
  • We put 6 or 8 folks at a round table to enhance discussion and build friendships.
  • Mature couples are strategically placed with new believers to build mentoring relationships.
  • I do the teaching. I teach a few minutes and let them discuss. Then I solicit answers from tables, make comments, and move to next point.
  • We start with very open ended and simple questions to get everyone involved and talking.
  • The teaching is not deep, as the intent is twofold. #1 Get a couple to have a starting point for further discussion at a later date. #2 Create local church friendships that will assist the couples in helping and encouraging each other.
  • To enhance further discussion, I print questions on 3×5 cards and send them home with the couple. We also dismiss in time, so the couples can leave and go out for dinner or dessert together. We strongly encourage this!
  • We take a break in the middle for more snacks and to enhance discussion.
  • Decorations, refreshments and snacks are provided by the folks that don’t come to the event.
  • At the church building, a children’s program and nursery are conducted by the folks that don’t come to the event. It starts 20 minutes before and ends about 20 minutes after the couples event.
  • We involve the whole church in conducting the event.
  • The “T’s” that I teach on are Trust, Time, Talk and Together. I pick one T and focus on it each time we do this.
  • The next event scheduled for Valentine’s night which is on a Sunday in 2016. We run the couples event two or three times a year.

T for two dec2105Summary:

The couples event is very successful. It is a welcomed change of pace from regular church. The anticipation level is extremely high. Newlyweds can’t wait until their first “T for Two”. In fact, two of my good teens were joking about how they wanted me to marry them so they could attend the event.  The special bonus this year came from Facebook. I posted the “T for Two” graphic on our local community “garage sale” Facebook group. Three different unchurched couples called and asked if they could come. They came and had a great time. One of them was definitely saved already, but the others are on my list to go see.

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Mike Holmes

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